"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Psalm 13:34-45.
Sometimes is it just really hard to love people. I'm a very caring and loving person, however, when someone has really hurt me time after time after time and again and again, it gets kind of hard to love. My forgiveness is a flowing stream. So when someone continues to hurt me, my forgiveness continues, but my love seems to run dry. Is this biblical? Am I personifying Christ with this attitude? No. And I know this. And so here is my heart, my sin. I find it very hard to love people sometimes.
Recently I have found myself between a rock and a hard place. I want to be like Christ and love but I also don't want to continually be hurt. Where is the happy medium? There is a person that has really hurt me in the past and continues to do so today. If I had my way, I would never see this person again, however, its not my world, and my way is not important. I know I need to love this person, and I try, I really do. However no matter what, whenever we see each other I can always count on them saying something mean to me. The Lord has really begun to teach me how to love my enemies. I have never in my life really had enemies or people that I don't like. I love everyone genuinely. But now, I have been faced with a situation where it is very hard to love at all times. Loving this person is exhausting. It takes everything in me to hold my tongue when they say rude things, and to be nice, when they are mean. I want so badly to take the easy road out and be nasty, hateful, and downright rude back. But I know this would not be glorifying to the Lord, and so I don't. Sometimes I cry because I get so tired of having to be strong. I cry because I don't want to hurt any longer. Why can't they just leave me alone? Why can't they just be nice or not say anything to me at all? Why do I have to continue to go through this? Why can't it just finally be over? Thankfully the Lord is my strength and my comfort, and I don't have to rely on myself to get me through hard times.
However hard this time in my life may be, I know that the Lord is faithful and growing me into his likeliness each and every day. This is a life lesson that I am learning. I am learning how to love people as Christ loves them. Not because they deserve it, because they don't, non of us do, but simply because He does and he commands me to do the same. Circumstances do not need to guide my love, Christ does. In my future career, my church, my neighborhood, I am going to face persecution. And there are going to be people in my life that I really won't want to love, but I know I can. All I have to do is have my focus on the cross, and remember my life is not my own. I take up my cross daily and live for Him. Therefore I will live to bring glory to Him and love.
On top of all these things, I have awesome friends who love and care for me. Who won't leave my side, and will protect me. Thank you guys, who know who you are, for listening to me. Thank you for encouraging me and uplifting me. Thank you for sticking by my side and walking with me into the hard situations I face.
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