Today/ the past 24 hours have been really encouraging and great. It all started last night. I had a wonderful time with one of my good friends Sarah. We laughed and laughed and laughed until my stomach hurt, I don't know about hers. We went to church together at Hillview, The Gathering. Which was really really good. I'm looking forward to going back. We enjoyed each other's company over some dinner, chicken fettuccine Alfredo to be exact at Mancino's. We continued to share life's stories with one another and laughed some more. I really love her. Haha I thank God for a friend like her. She is always so encouraging and a good listener. Genuinely cares, and speaks from the heart and not the head. But anyway, we then went to Starbucks and studied. Where I believe we both got a lot accomplished, Praise the Lord! With some intermittent chats while studying. I there got a phone call from a good friend who I have been praying about for her salvation for a year now, telling me she might be coming to visit me this weekend, this was great news!
I came home that night around 10:40 and got on Facebook, which seems to be the usual these days. Here the Lord blessed me with some great conversations as well. I got to talking to a friend of mine about church and he said he wanted to go to church but didn't have anyone to go with, so of course I offered that he could come with me and my friends anytime! And he jumped all over it. He was very excited and he himself said he would bring a buddy or two as well. I'm not sure where he is with the Lord but this is very encouraging.
Also last night I got to know another friend of mine better. We stayed up all night talking about our sin and where the Lord is taking us. We were confessing sin with one another just for the sake of getting to know each other better. This act of confession is always so humbling but a joyful moment, because it brings glory to the Lord every time. You can see the path the Lord has taken someone and how he has redeemed them and taken them out of those sins. I personally am an open book. I'm not scared to tell people my current or past sins, because the Lord is my judge, and His opinion is all I care about. So I'll tell you anything no matter how much shame I recieve. But also, I can ask you to be praying for me specifically concerning those sins.
I stayed up late talking, until 2 am actually, and then went to bed hoping I could get up for the 8 0'clock class the next morning. I had a test today after lunch, and the Lord was faithful there. Not necessarily faithful is allowing me to get a good grade on my test, but yes at the same time. Faithful in getting me through school so that I can spend the rest of my life following Him.
As many of you know I have really been working to raise support for my trip this summer. And I have to book my flight very soon and I was roughly a $1000 short. Something that many of you don't know is the situation with my dad. The Lord has been faithful in keeping me strong and patient, and keeping me from doubting concerning my support. I have not doubted that it would come, and I have been patient knowing it will. But my dad on the other hand has not been. He told me last week that he was doubting that the money would come in. This broke my heart. My dad asked me to pray for him and his doubt and I very faithfully have been doing so ever since. My prayer has been "Lord, not for me because I know you will provide, but for my father prove him wrong. Use this situation to bring glory to you, and convict him of this doubt." And when I got home after finding out what I got on my test, I got a phone call from my mother telling me that I received another check in the mail today, and it was for $1000. I can not tell you how much I am moved by my Lord. How much I love him for answering my prayer with my dad. I knew he would provide. But this was amazing, and all the glory, which is always what I wanted, went to the Lord. I was so moved, I was in tears. I was balling my eyes out because of the Love Christ has for me. I asked my mom how dad felt, and told her I had specifically been praying for him and his doubt, and I believe he is starting to have faith in this trip. I still am speechless to explain how I feel about this. Moved, and loved is all I can say. I still have $2000 more to raise, but I can now book my flight. I'm just taking it one step at a time.
After this conversation with my mom, I got on Facebook to send out some more letters to help me raise support and I had recieved a letter from a friend expressing concern for me. This meant a lot to me, that she was being genuine and really wanted to know that I was okay. She noticed that I wasn't being myself and she acted by praying for me and then asking if I was okay. Thank you, for this, you know who you are.
Shortly after this I got into another conversation with a friend. A little side note, I have been praying heavily that the Lord open my eyes, help me look and see opportunities to share the gospel with my classmates and others on campus. I know for a fact this is why I am here now. Okay so back to my story, this guy Facebook chatted me, haha, and started talking to me about my religion. Hahaha could it get any easier than that! I didn't even have to start the conversation it came to me! Anyway, I was given the opportunity to share the gospel with this guy. And I did, all the way. I can tell that his heart isn't ready. When I backed up everything with scripture he told me he didn't believe in reading the Bible or that it is true. He says he is going to heaven because he knows God loves him and he is following him, however, when I asked him the Kennedy questions, "If you died today, why would God let you into heaven?" He said he didn't know if he was going to heaven, but he would like to. He felt arrogant saying he had assurance of heaven. Anyway I started using other examples as good as I could without scripture but his heart isn't there. He believes he is saved.
However, this was really exciting for me. This is the life I want to live. I want to wake up every day, and be broken for Christ, fall in love with Christ, and share Christ. Today has been my perfect day. And the best thing is, I know that everyday is not going to be like this, and my faith and commitment to the Lord doesn't change a bit. My love for him continues to grow, despite the fact that tomorrow may be an awful day.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Acts 20:24
What I’m getting ready to say may be a shock to some of you and not so much to others. I do not want to be a nurse. Yes you read that correctly. I do not want to spend my life being a nurse.
The reason I first fell in love with the medical field as a young child was because of the way my Dad portrayed it to me. Both my parents are in the medical field so I grew up around it. It was my Dad however who really made me fall in love with taking care of people. Whenever my brothers or I had any sort of injury or ailment, my dad would always say “step into my office,” which happened to be the bathroom. We would sit up on the sink and Dad would doctor us back to health. I grew up wanting to be a doctor, because I wanted to be like my Dad. When I got into high school I became aware of the liability that followed this career and therefore I chose to become a nurse. Nurses are the eyes and ears, and hands often for the doctor. They truly take care of the patients and are there with them twenty four seven. Nurses are there for every waking need. And that is what I wanted to be for people. I wanted to live out Mathew 25:37-40 which says: “Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?' And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.”
I wanted to go into nursing because of my love for God’s people and my desire to share Christ with my patients. However, school began to be an idol in my life. I no longer was doing nursing for God but for myself. I wanted to prove something to myself and others. That I was smart and that I could successfully become an excellent nurse. I studied all the time, as many of you know this about me, and still do. I do nothing but study. I take my notes wherever I am, and I mean wherever I am. Thankfully the Lord has been very gracious to me by allowing me to succeed in school, and to also slowly reveal to me what his plan for me is.
As I continue to fall deeply in love with this Man named Jesus, a desire to give up everything and follow him grows stronger and stronger everyday. For me this would be giving up my nursing. Nursing was and unfortunately still is my life. No longer is this an obligation but a want. I WANT to give up nursing! I want nothing more than to live my life for Him each and every day sharing His love and grace with the people around this world. One of the many verses I now hold tight to is Acts 20:24 which states:
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.”
I have been considering this for some time now. As more time goes by, the more this desire grows stronger. So what exactly do I want to do with my life now? I don’t really know. I have prayed that the Lord opens and closes doors for me, and that he guides me where he wants me to go. I have so many options that I could choose including seminary, missions, or ministry in a church somewhere. The World literally is at my fingertips. As many of you know I am going to South Asia this summer for ten weeks to do some work for the kingdom. I chose this trip over an extremely competitive nursing externship that I was offered. Many nurses from all over our region would kill to have this externship, and I had it in my hands. But I gave it up so that I could share Christ’s love and forgiveness with people who had never heard His name before. Countless people think that I’m stupid for doing this; including all the students in my nursing class, my parents, and even some of my friends. But I know in my heart this is right, and this is pleasing to my Father. I will not regret this decision years down the road. So why did I share these things with you? Well, for a few reasons. One reason simply being to offer encouragement. I encourage each one of you to search your heart through scripture and in prayer. Where is the Lord leading you? Where is he asking you to go? What is he asking you to give up? Are you willing? And two, a request for prayer. Would you pray for me? Getting through school, is harder now than ever before, because that desire to succeed is just not there. I will finish, and I will try with all my heart because the Lord asks me to do this in Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” So pray that I will not give into my flesh and see school as a waste of time but rather an awesome ministry opportunity. And also pray for my future, meaning this summer, and beyond. Pray that the Lord continues to grace me with patience. Patience for funds for my trip this summer, patience to wait on him to reveal to me where he wants me to go next, and even patience in relationships. I don’t want a boyfriend to just have someone there or even to receive love from, because I get all these things and more from my heavenly Father times gazillion And his love and presence is all I want and need. However, I would love for the Lord to provide a partner more so for me. Someone who will be my partner in Crime per say. Crime stoppers for Christ I will call us. I want a relationship that is beneficial to the kingdom, so that my ministry is strengthened by having this partner, not hindered. And plus depending on where the Lord takes me, it might be safer that I have someone there with me. Lastly I thank you for your friendship and prayers.
“I open my mouth and pant, longing for your commands.” Psalm 119:131
The reason I first fell in love with the medical field as a young child was because of the way my Dad portrayed it to me. Both my parents are in the medical field so I grew up around it. It was my Dad however who really made me fall in love with taking care of people. Whenever my brothers or I had any sort of injury or ailment, my dad would always say “step into my office,” which happened to be the bathroom. We would sit up on the sink and Dad would doctor us back to health. I grew up wanting to be a doctor, because I wanted to be like my Dad. When I got into high school I became aware of the liability that followed this career and therefore I chose to become a nurse. Nurses are the eyes and ears, and hands often for the doctor. They truly take care of the patients and are there with them twenty four seven. Nurses are there for every waking need. And that is what I wanted to be for people. I wanted to live out Mathew 25:37-40 which says: “Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?' And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.”
I wanted to go into nursing because of my love for God’s people and my desire to share Christ with my patients. However, school began to be an idol in my life. I no longer was doing nursing for God but for myself. I wanted to prove something to myself and others. That I was smart and that I could successfully become an excellent nurse. I studied all the time, as many of you know this about me, and still do. I do nothing but study. I take my notes wherever I am, and I mean wherever I am. Thankfully the Lord has been very gracious to me by allowing me to succeed in school, and to also slowly reveal to me what his plan for me is.
As I continue to fall deeply in love with this Man named Jesus, a desire to give up everything and follow him grows stronger and stronger everyday. For me this would be giving up my nursing. Nursing was and unfortunately still is my life. No longer is this an obligation but a want. I WANT to give up nursing! I want nothing more than to live my life for Him each and every day sharing His love and grace with the people around this world. One of the many verses I now hold tight to is Acts 20:24 which states:
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.”
I have been considering this for some time now. As more time goes by, the more this desire grows stronger. So what exactly do I want to do with my life now? I don’t really know. I have prayed that the Lord opens and closes doors for me, and that he guides me where he wants me to go. I have so many options that I could choose including seminary, missions, or ministry in a church somewhere. The World literally is at my fingertips. As many of you know I am going to South Asia this summer for ten weeks to do some work for the kingdom. I chose this trip over an extremely competitive nursing externship that I was offered. Many nurses from all over our region would kill to have this externship, and I had it in my hands. But I gave it up so that I could share Christ’s love and forgiveness with people who had never heard His name before. Countless people think that I’m stupid for doing this; including all the students in my nursing class, my parents, and even some of my friends. But I know in my heart this is right, and this is pleasing to my Father. I will not regret this decision years down the road. So why did I share these things with you? Well, for a few reasons. One reason simply being to offer encouragement. I encourage each one of you to search your heart through scripture and in prayer. Where is the Lord leading you? Where is he asking you to go? What is he asking you to give up? Are you willing? And two, a request for prayer. Would you pray for me? Getting through school, is harder now than ever before, because that desire to succeed is just not there. I will finish, and I will try with all my heart because the Lord asks me to do this in Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” So pray that I will not give into my flesh and see school as a waste of time but rather an awesome ministry opportunity. And also pray for my future, meaning this summer, and beyond. Pray that the Lord continues to grace me with patience. Patience for funds for my trip this summer, patience to wait on him to reveal to me where he wants me to go next, and even patience in relationships. I don’t want a boyfriend to just have someone there or even to receive love from, because I get all these things and more from my heavenly Father times gazillion And his love and presence is all I want and need. However, I would love for the Lord to provide a partner more so for me. Someone who will be my partner in Crime per say. Crime stoppers for Christ I will call us. I want a relationship that is beneficial to the kingdom, so that my ministry is strengthened by having this partner, not hindered. And plus depending on where the Lord takes me, it might be safer that I have someone there with me. Lastly I thank you for your friendship and prayers.
“I open my mouth and pant, longing for your commands.” Psalm 119:131
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